'The Return: Shadow Souls Chapter 43\r'

'Elena had a whole step she couldnt so unitaryr describe. It wasnt letdown. It was…let up. For what seemed inter gentleable more or less of her spright bank liness she had been searching for Stefan.\r\n tho now she had him back again, quite safe and clean (hed had a long clean while she insisted on scrubbing him gently with tot anyy sorts of brushes and pumice st 1s, and then a shower, and then a rather cramped shower with her). His hair was drying into the silklike soft dark shock †a itsy-bitsy longer than he usually kept it †that she knew. He hadnt had energy for frivolities like keeping his hair hornswoggle and clean before. Elena understood that.\r\nAnd now…there were no guards or kitsune around to spy on them. there was nothing to keep them from each other. They had been playful in the shower, splashing each other, Elena always making accredited to keep her feet on the no-slip guard and ready to strain to support Stefans lanky weight. But they could not be playful now.\r\nThe showers spray had been real supportful, too †at concealing the teardrops that kept flowing down Elenas cheeks. She could †oh, passion heaven †count and feel each i of his ribs. He was just bones and skin, her beautiful Stefan, hardly his commonalty eyes were alive, sparkling and dancing in his pale face.\r\n after(prenominal) they were dressed in iniquitywear they simply sat on the bed for a little while. Sitting unneurotic, both breathing †Stefan had got into the use from being around humans so much and, recently, from trying to eke out the small amount of nutriment he received †in synchronicity, and both skin perceptiveness the others warm body beside them…it was almost too much. consequently, almost tentatively, Stefan groped for Elenas hand, and catching it, held it in both of his, turning it everyplace winderingly.\r\nElena was swallowing and swallowing, trying to make a start in a conversation, matte up herself practi hollery radiating bliss. Oh, I never deficiency some(prenominal)thing more, she concept, although she knew that soon enough she would want to talk, and to hold, and to embrace, and to feed Stefan. But if someone had asked her if she would direct pass judgment just this, sitting together, communicating by run through-to doe with and love alone, she would have accepted it.\r\nBefore she knew it, she was talking, haggling that came like bubbles out of molasses, only these were bubbles from her soul. â€Å"I thought that somehow I might lose this while. That Id won so some(prenominal) clock time, and that this time something would teach me a lesson and you…wouldnt make it.”\r\nStefan was liquid applauding over her hand, bending industriously to pet each separate finger. â€Å"You call ‘winning dying in pain and sunlight to however my pointless life †and my even more worthless brothers?”\r\nâ€Å"I call this a relegate sympathetic of winning,” Elena admitted. â€Å"Any time we get to be together is winning. Any moment †even in that bread and neverthelesster…”\r\nStefan winced, that Elena had to finish her thought. â€Å"Even there, to estimate in your eyes, to touch your hand, to inhabit that you were timbreing at me and mite me †and that you were happy †well, thats winning, in my book.”\r\nStefan lifted his eyes to hers. In the dim light, the green looked suddenly dark and mysterious. â€Å"And one more thing,” he whispered. â€Å"Because I am what I am…and because your crowning glory isnt that glorious well-heeled cloud of hair, hardly an aura that is…ineffable. Indescribable. Beyond any words…”\r\nElena had thought they would sit and simply glance at each other, drowning in each others eyes, but that wasnt happening. Stefans expression had slipped and Elena realized how close to bloodlust †and to death †he still really was.\r\nHurriedly, Elena pulled her damp hair to one side of her neck, and then she leaned back, erudite Stefan would catch her.\r\nHe did this, but although Elena tilt her chin back, he tilted it down in his two hands to look at her.\r\nâ€Å"Do you know how much I love you?” he asked.\r\nHis entire face was disguised now, enigmatic and strangely thrilling. â€Å"I dont think you do,” he whispered. â€Å"Ive resideed and watched how you were willing to do anything, anything to save me…but I dont think you know how much that love has been construct up, Elena….”\r\nDelicious shivers were personnel casualty down Elenas spine.\r\nâ€Å" wherefore youd better show me,” she whispered. â€Å"Or I might not believe that you mean it †â€Å"\r\nâ€Å"Ill show you what I mean,” Stefan whispered back. But when he bent down it was to kiss her softly. The feelings inside Elena †that this starving creatur e wanted to kiss her instead of going at once for her throat, reached a peak that she could not explain in thoughts or words, but only by drawing Stefans point so that his mouth rested on her neck.\r\nâ€Å"Please,” she said. â€Å"Oh, Stefan, please.”\r\nThen she felt the quick sacrificial pains, and then Stefan was potable her blood, and her mind, which had been fluttering around like a hoot in a lighted room, now power saw its nest and its mate and swooped up and up and up to at last reach unity with its best-belove.\r\nAfter that there was no need for clumsy things like words. They communicated in thoughts as pure and clear as shimmering gems, and Elena rejoiced because all of Stefans mind was open to her, and none of it was walled mop up or dark and there were no boulders of secrets or chained and weeping children…\r\nWhat! she light upond Stefan exclaim voicelessly. A child in chains? A mountain-sized boulder? Who could have that in their mind †?\r\n Stefan broke off, knowing the answer, even before Elenas lightning-swift thought could tell him. Elena felt the clear green wave of his pity, spiced by the inseparable anger of a young man who has done for(p) through the depths of hell, but untainted by the detestable black poison of hatred of brother for brother.\r\nWhen Elena had washed-up explaining all she knew about Damons mental processes, she said, And I dont know what to do! Ive done everything I could, Stefan, Ive †Ive even loved him. I gave him everything that wasnt yours alone. But I dont know if its do even the slightest difference.\r\nHe called Matt â€Å"Matt” instead of Mutt, Stefan interrupted.\r\nYes. I…noticed that. Id kept asking him to, but it never seemed to matter.\r\nIt mattered this way: you managed to change him. Not many people can.\r\nElena wrapped him in a flat embrace, stopped, worried that it was too tight, and glanced at him. He smiled and shake his head. He was already lo oking like a person rather than a death gang survivor.\r\nYou should keep using it, Stefan said voicelessly. Your influence over him is strongest.\r\nI will †without any artificial Wings, Elena promised. Then she worried that Stefan would think her too presumptuous †or too attached.\r\nBut one look at Stefan was enough to assure her that she was doing the right thing.\r\nThey clung to each other.\r\nIt wasnt as hard as Elena had imagined it would be †handing Stefan over to other humans to be bled. Stefan had a clean check of pajamas on, and the first thing he said to all three donors was, â€Å"If you get frightened or change your mind, just say so. I can hear perfectly well, and Im not in bloodlust. And anyway, Ill probably horse sense it if youre not enjoying it before you do, and Ill stop. And finally †thank you †thank you all. Ive decided to break my oath tonight because theres still some little chance that if I slept I wouldnt wake up tomorrow witho ut you.”\r\nBonnie was appal and indignant and furious. â€Å"You mean you couldnt sleep all that time because you were afraid to †to…?”\r\nâ€Å"I did fall asleep from time to time, but thank fortune †thank idol †I always woke up again. There were times when I didnt dare move to conserve energy, but somehow Elena kept finding ways to tote up to me, and every single time she came, she brought me some kind of sustenance.” He gave Elena a look that sent her pump spinning out of her chest and high into the stratosphere.\r\nAnd then she set up a schedule, with Stefan being cater every hour on the hour, and then she and the others left hand the first volunteer, Bonnie, alone, so as to be more comfortable.\r\nIt was the next morning. Damon had already been out to visit Leigh, the antiques-sellers niece, who had seemed very glad to see him. And now he was back, to look with scorn at the slug-a-beds who were distributed all around the boardingh ouse.\r\nThat was when he saw the bouquet.\r\nIt was heavily sealed down with wards †amulets to help get it through the dimensional gap. There was something knock-down(a) in there.\r\nDamon cocked his head to one side.\r\nHmm…I wonder what?\r\nDear Diary,\r\nI dont know what to say. Were home.\r\nLast night we each had a long bath…and I was half-disappointed, because my favorite long-handled back-scrubbing brush wasnt there, and there was no star ball to make dreamy medicine for Stefan †and the water was LUKEWARM! And Stefan went to see if the water smoking was turned on all the way and met Damon going to do the same thing! Only, they couldnt because were home again.\r\nBut I woke up a couple of hours past for a few minutes to see the most beautiful sight in the world…a sunrise. Pale pink and eerie green in the east, with nighttime still full dark in the west. Then deeper rose in the sky, and the trees all wreathed in dew clouds. Then a shiny glory fro m the jar against of the horizon and dark rose, cream, and even a green melon food coloring in the sky, Finally, a line of fire and in an instant all the modify change. The line becomes an arc, the western sky is deepest deepest patrician, and then up comes the sun bringing warmth and light and color to the green trees and the sky begins to become celestial juicy †celestial just means heavenly, although somehow, I have a delicious shivery feeling when I say it. The sky becomes a gemlike, celestial, cerulean blue and the golden sun begins to pour energy, love, light, and every well-grounded thing onto the world.\r\nWho could not be happy to watch this while Stefan held her?\r\nWe who are so lucky as to be born into the light †who see it every day and never think about it, were blessed. We could have been born shadow souls who live and die in crimson darkness, never even knowing that someplace there is something better.\r\n'